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Of all the things that can go wrong with a clarinet, this tale is about perhaps one of the most unusual I've ever seen. My client, the very highly talented Dunstan
Coulber, called in just after the Christmas festivities with an intermittent
problem on his clarinet. It seems the instrument was functioning perfectly
up until New Year's Eve, when, in the middle of a gig, it just stopped
playing. In general terms, the more widespread the symptoms the higher up the instrument the problem is likely to be found - so straightaway I focussed my attention on the top joint. A quick blow test revealed no leaks, so I suspected some kind of mechanical problem. There are a number of problems that can result in intermittent faults,
the most common being a loose pad. If a pad comes adrift it tends to make
itself known by promptly falling off the instrument, accompanied by a
sigh or a ribald cheer, depending on which end of the instrument you are
- but on the top joint of a clarinet the pads sometimes don't have enough
clearance to fall completely out when the keys are operated. I couldn't find any loose pads, so my next suspect was a sticking flat
spring. I then found that the second trill key had a slight 'blip' in its action.
Just before the key closed there was a slight hesitation - exactly the
sort of symptom you'd expect with a burr on the spring plate...though
it could also indicate a slightly bent key, causing it to rub up against
adjacent keys. I duly removed the trill keys and refitted the second key to check the
action - but now it ran quite smoothly, and no amount of manipulating
the spring would duplicate the hesitation I'd found. It was a small, cylindrical, shiny bead - of the sort you find in those
'make your own necklace' kits. Nothing special about that in itself - assorted debris often finds its
way into the action of an instrument, but usually drops off as soon as
the horn is moved or lifted up. Each trill key has a flat spring fitted to it, and this spring is held
in place by a small screw. So there the bead sat, and from time to time it worked its way round to exactly the right position to butt up against the head of the spring screw as the key closed, thus just preventing the pad from fully closing and stopping the whole clarinet dead in its tracks. Dunstan then informed me that his girlfriend makes jewellery - so that
was how the bead came to be there in the first place. I foresee much merrymaking amongst the clarinet sections of assorted orchestras as various players try to sabotage each other's clarinets with a proliferation of sneaky beading.
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